Toby Stephens: ‘I lost my dad to cirrhosis. The only difference between us was that, tragically, he couldn’t stop drinking’
Toby Stephens, a celebrated actor in his 57th year, was born in London to the renowned actors Maggie Smith and Robert Stephens. His journey into the world of performance began at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art, where he honed his craft before making his cinematic debut in the 1992 film *Orlando*. This early role marked the start of a career that would span decades, taking him from the silver screen to television and stage.
From Silver Screen to Stage
Stephens’ filmography includes notable roles such as the Bond villain in *Die Another Day* (2002), a performance that showcased his versatility in action and drama. His television work has also been varied, with appearances in critically acclaimed series like *One Day*, *The Split*, and *Black Sails*. On stage, he has consistently demonstrated his range, collaborating with prestigious institutions such as the Royal Shakespeare Company and the National Theatre.
Currently, he is captivating audiences in *Equus*, a play currently running at London’s Menier Chocolate Factory, which will conclude on 4 July. The production will then move to the Theatre Royal Bath, where it will stage from 14 to 25 July. The play, known for its intense psychological themes, has become a centerpiece of his recent work, reflecting his commitment to challenging roles.
Personal Life and Reflections
Outside of his professional endeavors, Stephens is married to fellow actor Anna-Louise Plowman, with whom he has three children. The couple resides in London, balancing their family life with their careers. When asked about his greatest fear, he revealed,
“To be completely alone.”
This admission underscores a vulnerability that permeates his artistic persona.
He also shared his disdain for vanity, a trait he considers most unappealing in others. Reflecting on an embarrassing moment, Stephens recounted,
“I was in a restaurant with my daughter in Los Angeles and I had an accident involving a stomach upset. That was mortifying for both of us.”
The incident highlights his candidness about personal mishaps.
Values and Influences
His most treasured possession is his wife, a sentiment he expressed with heartfelt sincerity. Stephens admitted that social media often leaves him feeling discontented, a modern challenge he views as a source of unhappiness. When it comes to his appearance, he humorously noted,
“The width of my body. I look like a fridge.”
This self-deprecating remark adds a lighthearted touch to his otherwise introspective responses.
If given the chance to revive an extinct entity, he would choose his mother, a nod to her enduring influence in his life. The actor joked that Damian Lewis would play him in the film of his life, explaining,
“Because we’re always mistaken for one another.”
His most unappealing habit, he confessed, is talking over people—a trait he aims to refine.
Reflections on Aging and Growth
Stephens expressed his apprehension about aging, stating,
“Everything.”
This encompasses both the physical changes and the uncertainty of life’s trajectory. He also shared his regret over not having read *Ulysses*, a book he described as a lingering shame. The worst criticism he has received, he recalled, was a review of *Phèdre* that remarked,
“Toby Stephens’s Hippolytus needs to get on a StairMaster.”
The comment, while harsh, was a testament to the actor’s dedication to his craft.
His last lie, he revealed, was claiming his wife’s shoes complemented her dress—an excuse to escape the house. His guiltiest pleasure, however, is cigars, a small indulgence he savors. When asked what he owes his parents, Stephens highlighted his mother’s practical wisdom, which guided him through his formative years.
“She was, like, ‘What kind of plays do you like, what movies do you like? Don’t just sit back and expect this thing to happen; you need to be actively cultivating and curating your own taste.’”
This advice, he said, has been instrumental in shaping his career path.
Stephens’ dreams often take him to unexpected places. Last night, he dreamed of being in a low-budget film where he couldn’t fit into his costume—a metaphor for the pressures of maintaining a certain image. When considering his past, he expressed a desire to alter his 20s, a period marked by alcoholism and addiction.
“When I lost my dad to cirrhosis, I knew that the only difference between us was that, tragically, he couldn’t stop whereas I could.”
This realization has deeply influenced his perspective on self-discipline and resilience.
Emotional Moments and Life Lessons
He admitted to crying frequently, particularly when his children perform at school. His wife, he said, often teases him, asking,
“Do you see any other fathers weeping?”
Despite this, he cannot help but feel emotional in these moments. When it comes to his personal life, he acknowledged,
“How often do you have sex? Not enough.”
This honest reflection reveals his ongoing commitment to balancing intimacy with his demanding schedule.
Stephens concluded his interview with a poignant thought on legacy. He wants to be remembered fondly, a sentiment that aligns with his enduring connection to the arts. When asked about life’s most important lesson, he replied,
“Never ever think that things are going to turn out all right.”
This insight captures his humility and the profound impact of personal experiences on his worldview.
Through his candid responses, Stephens offers a glimpse into the complexities of fame, family, and self-awareness. His journey, from early beginnings to current accolades, is a testament to the power of perseverance and the enduring influence of those who came before him. As he continues to captivate audiences, his reflections serve as a reminder of the human elements that drive his craft and character.
