‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
A Shift from Despair to Love
Martha Ongwane now gazes with affection at her energetic, four-year-old daughter, Rachael, unable to fathom the despair she once felt. Two years ago, the child’s autism had overwhelmed Martha, leaving her in a state of deep anguish. Non-verbal, aggressive, and restless, Rachael’s behavior had pushed Martha to the edge, even prompting her to consider poisoning her daughter. “I told myself it would be better if she died,” she recalls, “because that would mean she would rest, and our struggles would end.”
“My heart didn’t let me. I changed my mind and cried so much,” Martha says softly, looking down at her hands.
Today, the mother and daughter share a peaceful moment at home in Mzuzu, northern Malawi. Rachael climbs onto Martha’s lap as she prepares lunch, laughing and embracing her mother’s face while the 33-year-old chops vegetables to accompany nsima, a staple maize porridge. This transformation, Martha credits to expert care and support that changed her perspective.
A Lifeline in the Community
Her daughter’s remarkable recovery began during a visit to Mzuzu Central Hospital, where Rachael was connected to Saint John of God, a Catholic-run organization aiding children with developmental challenges. The initiative offers both mental health services and a special education school, becoming a crucial resource for Martha and her husband. Alongside therapy, they found a network of educators who helped address Rachael’s unique needs.
In Malawi, however, such support is rare. The country has just two developmental paediatricians for its population of over 22 million and three consultant psychiatrists. Autism, which affects brain development and communication, remains poorly understood. The term is absent from the Chichewa language, commonly spoken there, and is often equated with “ozelezeka” (mentally challenged) or “ofuntha” (troublesome). Misconceptions abound, with some attributing autism to witchcraft.
Stigma and the Hidden Crisis
According to the World Health Organization, more than 60 million people globally have autism. Yet in regions where mental health care is underfunded, only the most severe cases receive attention. This lack of awareness fuels stigma, isolating families like Martha’s. The burden of caring for a child with autism often falls on mothers, who may feel overwhelmed by the absence of community understanding.
Christopher Mhone of Saint John of God notes that a mother’s decision to consider killing her child reflects a national failure. “Her burden became so impossible to bear that she didn’t have the strength to cope,” he says. While basic services exist at local levels, specialized care is largely provided by NGOs and charities, highlighting the gap in government support.
